Saturday, August 15, 2009


Dear Friends:

What began as a few day hospital stay ended up lasting over two weeks and this time has revealed many things which I believe God has used to bring forth some some viable, livable solutions even though they may initially appear drastic. Let me tell you where I've been and where it appears we are headed.

My first return to the hospital occurred on the date of a scheduled doctor's appointment. Unfortunately extremely high blood pressures through the night despite the use of prescribed medicines and nitroglycerin sent me to the ER instead. I was admitted and stayed four days going through several of these unusually high blood pressure spikes with the doctor trying to find the right combination of meds to control the intense pain and quickly reduce the blood pressure.

I came home on Tuesday but on Thursday had an episode so severe that I stopped breathing briefly and lost consciousness. My roommate (a Cardiac RN) called 911 but I remember nothing after yelling for her help. A week later I was told I would be discharged but a sudden colon problem required some intervention.

Unfortunately a breakdown in communication between the cardiac and colon problems resulted in a more frequency of the blood pressure spikes without the proper intervention and I went into full pulmonary edema from which I am still suffering from.

I've said all of that to say that it had become very apparent to both Vonnie and I the "revolving hospital door" I seemed trapped in was NOT life and was adding to my stress and not adding to my days. We began serious discussion about ways to make my hospital visits less frequent yet still let me have all the medical treatment I need to have a comfortable, abundant life.

We looked at several solutions and have peacefully decided for me to go return home to hospice care. DON'T PANIC! HOSPICE DOESN'T MEAN I AM GOING HOME TO DIE!

Long term hospice care will give me everything I need for my own medical care including, medical equipment, medicines, nursing care, physicians, my own cardiologist and anything I receive in the hospital without having to be IN the hospital.

A more proper term is actually "Palliative Care" because I will continue to receive relief from the pain of the heart disease but I am choosing to not be subject to further open heart surgery or anything "experimental." The cardiologist DOES agree that this heart disease is advanced, aggressive and beyond anything they can come up with valid treatment. Spending the next months and years going back and forth to the hospital is actually more taxing on me physically than having all I need available to me at home.

Most of you know that my roommate is a cardiac RN and she will be able to give me anything I need if my personal nurse is not at the apartment. I will also have all the equipments including the necessary for me to be more comfortable and safe. All of my medicines regarding cardiac issues will be covered 100 percent with my insurance and hospice is also covered completely. Once my SSDI goes into affect we will find out about the transition from Blue Cross Blue Shield to Medicare will happen. Please pray that financially this all works out smoothly and without great cost.

I am home now and adjusting to the "strangeness" of a hospital bed in my room, oxygen noise in the room and new medicines. I may not write as often over the next few days but please keep in touch with me via Facebook and email. Your notes really do mean a lot to me even if I am not as quick to answer them as I used to be.

Most of all I cherish your prayers. And please, understand I am NOT GIVING UP or resigning to anything negative. I am choosing LIFE and I believe in the most abundant way possible. I just might start really feeling better if I can stay away from all the hospital chaos. May it be so.

Much love and thanks to you all.

From My Heart,